many things happened when i was away

mother how are you today,
here is a note from your daughter.
many things happened when i was away,
mother how are you today.

Aug 24 is my mom b'day. she's 65 old of age now. i took her to wtc mangga dua for clothes shopping :D and i spent 1.6 million for her chlothes. wakakakakaka. well.. its really ok. God trust me abundant blessing to passing it to other, not to keep it for myself :) especially those ones that i love. yesterday i also spend some for my big bear. he loves that crocs, the mix green-brown moccassin crocs we saw last week in ex :) so i bought them, no other reason, but just to make him happy :)

there's a lot of things happened when i was away from my regatta. but too much to write. too busy to write. too much hathred. too painful to tell. and too messy to write. so i just write it in the sand of my heart so it will gone with the wind of love, compassion and time. Not to mention a name to you is much-much easier than to say it in a daily prayer. Bengs said that the best thing to fix hathred is to pray and say blessings for the person. (hei .. how are you brother Bengs?)

now im in my hotel room in bukit indah city in cikampek. about 2 km away from pepsi factory where we're implementing a new system to the company. at least for next 2 weeks we will stay here for duty. yea, i miss my mom, my doggies, my room and my big bear or course. all i can do in this hotel room is chatting -if someone's around, like yuli or my bro, or nav2- or browsing. luckily big bear allows me to bring his 3g modem for wireless connection.

im tired now :) see you :)


Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in ME

Pepsi Trips

Im in Pepsi now. We’re implementing a new system, Microsoft Navision 4.0. Normally its about 1and half hour to get there. But sometimes our driver make it 1 hour and 15min. Even my boss make it less then an hour. Cool!!! I like racing wakakakakakakakakakakakakakaka.

Im the only girl in this project team so normally I will take front seat. But if my boss do driving, then I better sat in middle seat. Its more scary wakakakak cos he loves zig zag driving. The problem is 70% of vehicles in Cikampek toll road were big trucks, super big trucks and containers trucks. Wakakakakakakakakaka

Today we went to a traditional resto serves Sundanese food about 5 min from the factory. Really traditional but very quick in serving :) good food anyway and I eat a lot :) I ate 3 pcs of Tahu Kipas or Fan Tofu. Yup .. one of my fave food is tofu :) I drank young coconut ice. You know what? I really wanted to drink young coconut ice

Big Bear

My bf is a photographer. He won some prizes in photgraphy and decided to move to Jakarta to pursue photography. I knew him as he sent me a message in Myspace on Jan 31, 2007 while looking for Indonesians who had an interest in Photography. I like to do photography but only as a practical hobby. For my bf, he do photography as a career. He own a website as gallery of his best photos. He's a great photographer and has nice sense of art.

Bf and i met on April 6, 2007 and we made commitment on June 14. He is a Big Bear for me, and i mean it :)

PS.
Myspace is a web community just like Friendster, hi5, etc. My Myspace page was not created by me. It was created by my good-far away-funny friend, Brunny :) When a mail came to inform that i got a new message in Myspace .. i did not even know the password!! I need to ask Myspace about my own password and then they sent the 'forgotten' password through my email. Cos it was Brunny who signed up Myspace account for me and he forgot what password he setted up for me. wakakakakakakakakaka

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.."
Geez..... i love this verse! please allow me to use it many2 times in my Regatta :)

Sensitivity

Today is a day off for Jakarta people. We have our first govenor's election.

Two days ago (monday) my bf told me that he has a plan to meet some friends (S, Yuli and a client) today(wednesday). Yuli is good about knowing shooting area/location. And S will help with transportation. It was an informal meeting about his photo project we (bf and i) planned to do this saturday. He told me that he has a day off on wed (But he forget about the day off of the vote day. All he knew was he got a day off. Btw he's not a Jakarta's citizen) but he thought i had to work so he did not invite me to the meeting. He said sorry and tried to convince me that it is ok for me to join. I was so sad cos he did not include me but it is not me who like to invite myself even it was happened because of a mistake. I will not mess up anybody's plan so i will never invite myself into anybody's plan. So i said no, i will not come.

But this morning i thought it is ok to join because it is an informal meeting. And it is my bf's business and project, so if he said ok then it means ok. Nothing to be doubt about. I told him that i changed my mind and he said that we all will meet at 1pm. I headed to 24 *bucks Sarinah when i got an sms from bf saying that S were there and were leaving soon cos she cannot see us (bf and i) together. She said that it hurt to see us. She also said that she cancelled saturday if i come. He was also surprised to know that thing.
I said : 'what??'

It was a long chat through sms on my way to *bucks. For short he was upset. I was upset. I know she was upset also.

For me, if she that sensitive girl -she cannot see bf and i together- then why did she visited and spent sooo many hours with my bf in his house? She never think that im sensitive too? (please check out my previous post about the visit). If she's that sensitive, why she did that to me? I thought she's a "modern and open" person. If she can open about the visit/spend time things i think she should accept and ready that we(bf and i) are together.

At last i said : "ok, tell her to stay. i will go alone, shopping. your career is more inportant than me"
And I told her : "S, i will not come and i will not go shooting on sat. i hope you're happy with this"

He needs her help for shooting, and i know that his career is urgent. We can meet anytime next time. But also wanted to meet Yuli :(

So i decided to buy Yuli a belated b'day present and then give her cos i dont know when i can see her again. I can called her to get out of for a while so S did not have to see me. Then i went to Sarinah for Yuli's present. I found a sexy black top but i wonder if she like sexy stuff. So i bought a grey stretch t-shirt for Yuli. She's a big girl :) When i handed her the present (in Pizza Hut terrace - cos they're having late lunch when i came) i just realise that she grow bigger than the last time i saw her! Wow, Yuli .. hope the shirt fits to you :) And if you like sexy stuff, i can get it for you tomorrow before it sold out :)

Yea, my bf was in Pizza Hut .. with S and his client. And i was there also .. with by a big clear glass wall between us. I know he tried not to hurt her but there's such pain inside me :( As i leave the resto he sent me sms saying that he missed me, why not come in if you're there?

I cried : If you're there.. why not come out?


Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead

Being unsecure :(

I've been unsecure these last days.

The story starts here:
A girl S loves my bf very much even long time ago before i know him. Then he met me and they agree to be good friends. I know S, i talked, chatted and met her several times. She's sooo sad because of that, i know that. And my bf tried to cheer her up but i think she could not let her feeling go easily.

Most of the times i can off work about 6pm or more. Even today, i left my work at 8pm. He has an irregular schedule everyday due to his work. For her, she has tons of free time. So sometimes he and i had quick dinner and went home during weekdays, maybe 1-2 times a week. On weekend we spend time most together but sometimes he would go with her to watch movie on his laptop on Sunday.

He usually spend friday with her. And sometimes they also hang out few times in a week. Last month they spend a lot of time in Starbucks. He promised to heading home soon but then i know that they went home at 3AM in the morning :( I talked to him about this and he said that it will not happened again.

2 weeks ago my bf hurted ankle and could not walk but he already planned to watch another movie with her. So he invited her to spend Friday and Sunday for dvd movies (because Sat he and i had plan, then I spend Sat with him). I told him that i dont like the long time visit and he promised that he will not invite a girl to his house for more than a certain time. He offered to cancel his meeting/invitation but i said no, he should not cancel what he promised/planned to do.

Yesterday and today :
My bf planned a lot of activities with her this week. He told me yesterday that he will ask her to company him for some reason today. Then tonight he implisitely told me that he want to go with her to some place tomorrow and he told me another plan to spend Wednesday with her and another friend :O:O:O He has a day off on wednesday and i told him last week that I got a day off also since it is an election day of our govenor. But he did not invite me :(( He said that he forgot if i also had a day off either.
Wow ..

My problems :
I just think why do i feel so unsecure?
Am i normal to feel unsecure?
Or am i crazy to have too much thinking?
Why he'd like to spend a LOT of time with her?
Maybe he's bored of me :( Maybe he finds that she's better than me :(
I wish i could have more time with him. I wish i could available for him anytime. I wish i could ..

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.."

Good morning. Happy Friday :)

Thats what my boyfriend said this morning in his sms. Yep, another happy day called as Friday :) Another happy day cos I still alive :p cos I still have a loving boy friend :) cos i still have a good job :p cos i still have a very kind boss, Michael ;)

Today i hope that i can finish everything on time at work and then head to Plaza Semanggi for dinner with my friends Evie and Echie. But alas i could not leave work soon. They're also sad of course :( but nothing i could do. So after work i treat myself with shopping. I went shopping not only being bored and tired, but also because there were traffic jam everywhere in Jakarta. Today is the last day of campaign days for Jakarta's govenor election. By the way, i got black pants and Sea Quill antioxidant wakakakakaka.... This ppiglet really scared of being old :p

GOD's love and compassions are new every morning; great is THY faithfulness.

Regatta

A regatta is a term used to describe either a boat race, or series of boat races. Although regattas are typically amateur competitions, they are usually very highly organized, formally structured events, with complex rules precisely describing the schedule and procedures of the event.

Folks, tell me whats your hopes and dreams? Mine is simple : a peaceful and elegant life. Clear, transparant, cool and tasteful. If i can use colors, mine is white as clouds, bright orange as sunshines, and black as solid cold stone. My life might be simple but it should be well organized. A tasteful life that i can share it to others. My home should not be a big one but a place where i can a see-trough. A cool and warm place in the same time. Full of laugh and love. I might not have many but i treasure whatever i have. I try to keep my life simple, reduce unnecessary things and keep priorities.

But seek first HIS kingdom and HIS righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.