same direction?

wow.. seems that everything tells me to go to the same direction!
the article, the discussion with brother, the sermons, big bear comments, the yearly bonus, early pay from michael, long next project in semarang .. and today's email in my mailbox!

ok you might guess it :)


GOD only give you step by step direction

Sept 23 2007 : Go! and sin no more ..
Jan 25 2008 : CONFIRMED! thanks DAD :)

rejected

have you ever feel rejected by someone?

once i felt very upset, i lifted my right hand and i yelled and screamed to my dog, Miki. he felt very scared. he low his head, hide his tail, look at me and get away from me. he looked very sad and wonder. i was someone who he trust, someone who will play with him, someone who fed him and gave him bath. he felt like " .. now she yelled at me?". i never forget his white funny face .. getting away from me, from our house and gate. he went to our neighbour's open garage and hide under their car. he felt rejected. hurted. his hurted face keep come into my mind even until now .. even its 25 years ago.

my Big Bear rejected me.

he gave wrong impression to his best friend (who is a girl) and his other friends who are girls that currently he does not have a girl friend :( whatever the reason, i feel rejected. soooooooooooo hurted.

i low my head, look at him, questioning him, i dont understand him, crying and im getting away from him .. from the house and the gate ....


the name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe

unexpected things

sometimes it takes an unexpected encounter to put your life in perspective.


mine are : being here all my life (when my first dream whem i was a kid was go abroad), scratched face during my second flying fox chance, being tired and alone this saturday night when my bf is hang out with his friend, being an employee in a super big company with super tiny salary, my blank passport for this last 10 years (it wil get expired this september!).

all of them were unexpected :( many will laugh because all those stupid thing i stated above.
but thats fatcs. i wrote this blog not to impress anybody who read this. i made this blog only for me, to teach myself for being honest, and not to miss any of my life. this blog sings my heart.

ok. now, so whats the purpose of my life? cos many things seems unexpected. and to say that "life is to glorify GOD" sounds funny now. how can i share God to others if i disapointed with my own life?

.messy. old. poor. ugly. tired. confuse. distrust.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

if i were a storekeeper

I just came back from cikampek city, where the navision project for pepsi - the cola drink- take place. it should be a three weeks long project but luckily we can went home for late weekend. i wrote late weekend cos we leave the pepsi factory at noon. its late tough, but its better than no break at all.

last time i joined a project in a dairy factory. we spent 8am-10pm everyday at work, including weekends, and .. the new years eve :p there was a time that we left office at 1.30am. hahaha .. thats why i called lucky, we can have late weekend. yea, the data we need were not ready yet, also cos cikampek is only 1.5hour away from jakarta :)

but kind of sad cos -now im sitting in *bucks- seems that even a waiter looked down at me. maybe cos i looked very tired and poor so when i went to their counter they just looked at me questioning herself "is she going to order something?". when i smiled to her then she realised me as their customer and smile back at me.

it also happened last week, when i went to a shoe store called "crocs" just as i arrived from cikampek. i was in a hurry, cos its late already, i just go to a corner and took a pair of moccasin style crocs. i checked the price for last time i visited the store they give discounts according to our independence day. but the discount tag were gone. and i asked a storekeeper "no more discount?". he starred at me, looked confuse, he was like "are you sure you want to buy them?". whew :( and as quick as i get into the store, i went to cashier and pay. he still wonder at me and ask his friend to serve me. he shocked.

yea, i am an stupid faced-middle aged girl, look tired, messy hair, almost gone make up, oily face with a big backpack. God, if i were them i will look up to my every customer :) even if they come out the store without nothing they buy :)

james 2:16 says :
if one of you says to him, "go, i wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?