doggies loves me...

yea. thats right.
about 3 years ago i stay in a house with a black english cocker spaniel dog. he was a very courious dog. he barks in every stranger came to the house. and will never stop until the guest leaves his teritory. hahaha
the problem was .. we need to stay there for about 3 days! for short, fredo - the dog then become very close with me in less than 2 hours ive been there.

he follow me wherever i go. he wanted me to pet and touch him. if not then he will put his head on my hand or tried to sit on my lap -we (the host and i) always sat on a red carpet-. he will stand in his 2 legs if i stand, putting the other front legs on me. he tried to enter and stay on my room. at night he stay in front of my room all night, crying. he wished he could come in.

the host were all wonder why fredo became very close to me cos he never even do those things to any of the owner. after 3 days we left the house and the next month was christmas. the house owner sent me christmas sms and told me that fredo died.
after my leaving, fredo was sick and got stressed. he did not want to eat at all. they took do to his vet but it didnt work. he passed away about 2-3 weeks after my leaving.

yesterday i went to salatiga city for relatives and i saw a big male german shepherd dog in his big cage. i came near him to say hello and the people said : don’t come too close, edo is very dangerous and fierce. pls don’t come near him. but for me he looks very cute. he has big brave eyes and soft palms. i came near him and he keep looked at me. then he tried to reach me with his front legs. i can see his blue registration number inside his right ear. ouch .. must be hurt when they put the tattoo when he was only a puppy. poor fellow  he has a black wet nose (a dog with a nose that is not predominantly black must be disqualified. crazy!). when i leave him he cried. he tried to hold my hands with his front legs and play them with his mouth. he didn’t want me to leave him. he enjoy when i pet him and play with ears, scratch his head and back. slrrrpp… he licks me and my glases!

we went to kalioso, to meet my moms old friends. and there they were.. 2 local dogs and we met as old friends! one of them stand on his 2 back legs and reach me for hugs. the other one keep starring at me and allow me to scratch his fury head. love them very much. muuuach..

ask ..

since last month im seriously trying to get better job, better salary, better way of living (hahaha!). yea, then i ask as it written. i asked. i seek. i knocked.

i asked for a better income, then came one of my current boss. he said that he could not hire me any longer start in january. cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy................

then i keep i asked for a better job and salary, then came the happening that i really dont like. someone took my purse out of my backpack. cryyyyyyyyyyyyyy...........

it just remind me to an old friend Eka. he asked Him to give him patient. and the next days everybody at his work seems queuing, asking for his patiently. wonderful, right?

keep asking ppiglet, keep seeking, keep knocking ..


ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened to you.
for everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds;
and to him who knocks, the door will be opened...

Jan 25 2008 Thanks DAD, You answer my prayer and provide all that i need :)

black canyon the "cozy place"

when i write this im in a "cozy place" in a highland of Candi, semarang, central Java. this is a "cozy place" i heard from an online friend. im travelling for about 12 days for business. im here not because i need to meet friends for hang out. im here cos i just bored at hotel and no place to go. i have one and half day for myself :) today we end at 12pm then we went for lunch in a seafood resto with local style. then spent 2 hours relaxing, chatted with my old crazy friend (mas totok) and my dear brother.

planned to left hotel at 4 but i broke my own plans as usual :p i left hotel at 6 for tahu gimbal and conglie home made ice cream in simpang lima. then jumped into taxi for a cafe called black canyon. i heard about this cozy place from a new unseen friend few days ago. what i was to tried to do was find a cool place for relaxing, killing time and surfing. yea, my best friends during travelling are my laptop and my 3g modem. alas, the modem does not work in this black canyon. the connection is connected but it does not give me a connection! waaaks .... what a bad news pals. but thats ok :)

i tried a cool cold coffee with caramel. and now a bowl of "good food for good health and good life" :) black canyon tom yum kung! yup! cos black canyon is a thai franchise cafe :) hmmm.. a very tasy and spicy bowl of shrimp soup. the mushroom slices were swimming in that dark yellow sour soup :) not bad at all ......

black canyon could said as a cozy place except the warm air and a little bit crowded. i think the ai-con is too warm. they have modern-minimalist interior but in some place (at least in front of me) there couples of big old style chairs and table. they remind us to "jaman belanda". hehehe confusing me :p the people are very friendly, maybe cos they're thai franchise + javanese culture of people. it take place in the front of a hotel (called Candi Baru hotel if im not mistaken). candi is the name of area with high surfaces of lands. my taxi went up and down, up, up, up , down, turn left and right many times before we get there. girls, if you drive smoothly through this area without any problem then i bet you can drive anywhere easily wakakakaka ..

btw this place is full of high class - chinese people with javanese deep dialects. ah.. i have no idea how to describe it. before this cafe i went to a church where i plan to attend tomorrow to check out theirsunday service. alas the indonesian service helds in 6pm in the morning :p and the next service is an english service at 10.30pm. geeez.. and you know what? i lost my indonesian bible since i went to singapore 3 weeks ago. so i like or not i need to use my big english version bible instead of my tiny light little indo bible. maybe thats why God sent me to a church with english service only available for me. hehehe

its 20.45PM now. can you imagine what i had taken this last 8 hours? yummy local style seafood, tahu gimbal, conglie ice cream, cold coffee with caramel, a big bowl of great shrimp tom yummy yum kung and last.. a bottle of aqua to neutralise my throat. wakakakakakakakaka. God, im stuffed with goodness :)


Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope:
Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail.
They are new every morning;great is your faithfulness.

same direction?

wow.. seems that everything tells me to go to the same direction!
the article, the discussion with brother, the sermons, big bear comments, the yearly bonus, early pay from michael, long next project in semarang .. and today's email in my mailbox!

ok you might guess it :)


GOD only give you step by step direction

Sept 23 2007 : Go! and sin no more ..
Jan 25 2008 : CONFIRMED! thanks DAD :)

rejected

have you ever feel rejected by someone?

once i felt very upset, i lifted my right hand and i yelled and screamed to my dog, Miki. he felt very scared. he low his head, hide his tail, look at me and get away from me. he looked very sad and wonder. i was someone who he trust, someone who will play with him, someone who fed him and gave him bath. he felt like " .. now she yelled at me?". i never forget his white funny face .. getting away from me, from our house and gate. he went to our neighbour's open garage and hide under their car. he felt rejected. hurted. his hurted face keep come into my mind even until now .. even its 25 years ago.

my Big Bear rejected me.

he gave wrong impression to his best friend (who is a girl) and his other friends who are girls that currently he does not have a girl friend :( whatever the reason, i feel rejected. soooooooooooo hurted.

i low my head, look at him, questioning him, i dont understand him, crying and im getting away from him .. from the house and the gate ....


the name of the LORD is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe

unexpected things

sometimes it takes an unexpected encounter to put your life in perspective.


mine are : being here all my life (when my first dream whem i was a kid was go abroad), scratched face during my second flying fox chance, being tired and alone this saturday night when my bf is hang out with his friend, being an employee in a super big company with super tiny salary, my blank passport for this last 10 years (it wil get expired this september!).

all of them were unexpected :( many will laugh because all those stupid thing i stated above.
but thats fatcs. i wrote this blog not to impress anybody who read this. i made this blog only for me, to teach myself for being honest, and not to miss any of my life. this blog sings my heart.

ok. now, so whats the purpose of my life? cos many things seems unexpected. and to say that "life is to glorify GOD" sounds funny now. how can i share God to others if i disapointed with my own life?

.messy. old. poor. ugly. tired. confuse. distrust.

Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

if i were a storekeeper

I just came back from cikampek city, where the navision project for pepsi - the cola drink- take place. it should be a three weeks long project but luckily we can went home for late weekend. i wrote late weekend cos we leave the pepsi factory at noon. its late tough, but its better than no break at all.

last time i joined a project in a dairy factory. we spent 8am-10pm everyday at work, including weekends, and .. the new years eve :p there was a time that we left office at 1.30am. hahaha .. thats why i called lucky, we can have late weekend. yea, the data we need were not ready yet, also cos cikampek is only 1.5hour away from jakarta :)

but kind of sad cos -now im sitting in *bucks- seems that even a waiter looked down at me. maybe cos i looked very tired and poor so when i went to their counter they just looked at me questioning herself "is she going to order something?". when i smiled to her then she realised me as their customer and smile back at me.

it also happened last week, when i went to a shoe store called "crocs" just as i arrived from cikampek. i was in a hurry, cos its late already, i just go to a corner and took a pair of moccasin style crocs. i checked the price for last time i visited the store they give discounts according to our independence day. but the discount tag were gone. and i asked a storekeeper "no more discount?". he starred at me, looked confuse, he was like "are you sure you want to buy them?". whew :( and as quick as i get into the store, i went to cashier and pay. he still wonder at me and ask his friend to serve me. he shocked.

yea, i am an stupid faced-middle aged girl, look tired, messy hair, almost gone make up, oily face with a big backpack. God, if i were them i will look up to my every customer :) even if they come out the store without nothing they buy :)

james 2:16 says :
if one of you says to him, "go, i wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?